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		<title>Burned out &lt;https://y.st./en/weblog/2017/07-July/31.xhtml&gt;</title>
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		<header>
			<h1>Burned out</h1>
			<p>Day 00877: <time>Monday, 2017 July 31</time></p>
		</header>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		Today was supposed to be a cram day, but I couldn&apos;t keep my mind on task.
		I&apos;m incredibly burned out, more than I can believe.
		I can&apos;t wait for the term to end so I can get a week of rest.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		I think I&apos;ve figured out what I am: a <a href="https://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Demigirl">demigirl</a>.
		Aside from that few-year period in which I repressed my femininity because it was incomplete and I didn&apos;t understand it, I&apos;ve always wanted to be a girl on the outside.
		However, while I do have slight body dysphoria, it&apos;s not enough to actually compel me to act on it.
		I&apos;m not enough of a girl to actually get my body modified to match.
		I don&apos;t have any (or much?) masculinity in me, but my femininity isn&apos;t overly strong.
		I also don&apos;t identify as feminine; I identify as androgynous.
		The label of demigirl seems fitting for me, given al this.
		Still, it&apos;ll take a while for me to decide if this label is quite right.
		I feel like I keep switching labels lately as I gain new information.
	</p>
	<p>
		Gender and sexuality aren&apos;t always inseparable, but they are often connected.
		If I really am a demigirl, it&apos;d explain why I like men; or at least those with male reproductive organs.
		As I have no masculinity, I don&apos;t have a draw to vaginas or a repulsion from penises.
		As I do have some femininity, I&apos;m drawn to penises and have a repulsion from vaginas.
		The strength of this draw varies by the day, but the repulsion seems to stay with me at all times.
		Come to think of it, my draw toward penises right now seems to be very low.
		I think turning my needs inward and filling them myself is having a positive effect.
		I&apos;ll need more time to gather data on how I feel, but I think just knowing I&apos;m here for me is working well.
		I can turn my needs back outward once I find a suitable partner.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		Before I could head out today to try to get a proctor at the University of Oregon, I thankfully got an email response from the school&apos;s testing centre.
		After a short exchange, I got them to agree to proctor my exam, though the service does cost.
		Now I just need to wait for University of <span class="redacted">[REDACTED]</span> to accept my proctor choice.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="docmod">
	<h2>Document modifications</h2>
	<p>
		On <a href="/en/weblog/2017/11-November/02.xhtml">2017-11-02</a>, this journal page was modified in order to redact the name of the university.
	</p>
</section>
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